"That's kind of you. We're all dumb enough to eat candy off the floor, so we probably ain't going to do too hot on figuring out how to get free." That's a lie. Dan's been tied up many times and in many contexts, and he already knows how he's going to wiggle and contort loose from this. He just doesn't feel any pressing need to do so right now.

He raises an eyebrow. "The periodic table? Uh...well, I ain't never seen it, but I assume it's old and valuable."

He's clueless. He wonders how something so random could end up in that red writing above him.