Aster knows what he'd say if this were taking place on a ledge. Or a bridge. What he could ask about Dan's plans for tomorrow, or does anyone know he's standing here yet, or can you take one step back and let's talk about how it got to this point, can you do me a favor and put it off until tomorrow, and I'll sit with you until tomorrow comes, and we can see if you feel this way in the morning.
But this isn't a ledge, this isn't Dan professing that he's going to jump, just that he has something that takes the edge off wanting to not be alive and it's something that's also killing him, making him unreliable, embarrassing him to his friends and whatever loved ones Dan has outside this town.
The idea of not wanting to exist at all is more alien to Aster than the idea of wanting to die, and even that idea is untenable. For him, anyway; he knows it's not for others.
"That sounds awful."
He's understating a lot tonight.
"Do you - can I -" Dan is leaning into his touch at least, and the only thing he can think of is to give Dan a hug, so he opens his arms to offer one.
(cw: discussion of suicidal thoughts)
But this isn't a ledge, this isn't Dan professing that he's going to jump, just that he has something that takes the edge off wanting to not be alive and it's something that's also killing him, making him unreliable, embarrassing him to his friends and whatever loved ones Dan has outside this town.
The idea of not wanting to exist at all is more alien to Aster than the idea of wanting to die, and even that idea is untenable. For him, anyway; he knows it's not for others.
"That sounds awful."
He's understating a lot tonight.
"Do you - can I -" Dan is leaning into his touch at least, and the only thing he can think of is to give Dan a hug, so he opens his arms to offer one.