millenyal_pink: (Exp- Down)
millenyal_pink ([personal profile] millenyal_pink) wrote in [community profile] nightlogs 2023-11-27 10:38 pm (UTC)

"Oh, I can--" she cuts herself off. Elle was about to say she can find somewhere else to practice, but immediately realized that that's not a helpful instinct. Dan doesn't want that from her. She doesn't want that.

Elle takes a breath and tries again.

"That doesn't come naturally to me. I'll do my best, but... it doesn't come naturally," she repeats helplessly. She's not sure how to explain it to someone like Dan, who thrives in doing what he wants when he wants it. Who feels and then acts.

Elle thinks. Elle doesn't stop thinking. When there's a routine, structure, Elle doesn't have to worry about her next step because she knows what it is. If she goes against it, that's a choice she's making while knowing what the expectations are. If she fumbles, she has something to fall back on without losing track entirely.

She doesn't know how to move without knowing what her next step is supposed to be. (She's obviously talking about ballet and ballet only, no need to examine that any further.)

"I'm still going to do my warm-ups. I can show up before you if you don't want to go through that." She needs something of a routine, and forgetting to warm up and stretch is a cardinal sin.

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