nightlogs | (closed)

[Jaskier is already having the time of his life. The North Pole is charming, but he was meant to be among the people! And, oh, what people there are here! Everyone is dressed so strangely in various, unfamiliar styles. Each new person he spots makes him want to stop and admire. What variety! What wonderful combinations of shape, color, and texture!

Very few of these thoughts are kept to himself as they make their way down the street.]

-And look at the buildings themselves! There's so much art in such a public place. It's such a bounteous form of expression-- painted on the walls for all to admire. This is what I've been saying, Anthony, beauty should be freely offered. No king or noble should be able to hoard it for themselves, art is meant for the people.

[He has perhaps gotten a bit distracted.]

[This is probably something he should have realized would happen, but it isn't really a bad thing, so he can roll with Jaskier being distracted. It's sort of delightful, really; sometimes it's easy to forget why he loves humanity so much, and seeing someone else eagerly experience so much of it for the first time is an easy reminder.

So he doesn't bother to point out that a lot of the art is graffiti and considered vandalism. There's no reason to be a spoil sport.]

Should I be penciling in a trip to the art museum before the day is over?

[At this rate he might need to figure out a hotel for the night, if it turns into a two day trip.]

[If Jaskier knew it was a considered vandalism, he would appreciate it all the more.]

Oh, can we?

[He bounces up and down on his toes, practically skipping with excitement.]

I've been looking up what I can on your [fruity little hand wave] internet, but I've found myself quite at odds with her about what she considers to be proper records. I would relish the opportunity to see this world's masterpieces in person.

[He's so happy to be out in the world! He's always been a modern man, and feeling so disconnected from the modern culture has been rather upsetting.

Jaskier's also happy to be in a proper city again. On the streets he can feel the beating heart of the people-- hear their voices and songs. He isn't supposed to be hidden away from the world, he's supposed to be a part of it!]

[Immediate regret, but in the same way that he immediately regrets when he tells Aziraphale about the newest production by the Shakespeare Company and knows that they'll inevitably have to go see it.]

Sure, I haven't anything better to do.

[Note to self: start deciding which gallery/museum would be the best to introduce Jaskier to the world of art on Earth. He'd probably enjoy modern art, but there's a lot to be said about art history, and he could show Jaskier some of Leo's work, which might be — nice.]

The problem with the internet is that just about anyone can contribute, so you'll get a whole lot of different opinions.

[That's also the good thing about it.]

You still want to do this shopping business?

Yes, the dangers of public forum. The price of free access to information is often the amplification of ignorant voices-- progress never comes without cost, I'm afraid.

[Jaskier whips around to face Anthony.]

Of course! I was a promised a new, suitably fashionable wardrobe, Anthony, and I will accept nothing less. I've been forced to hide myself away from society for too long-- the embarrassment of having nothing fitting to wear has been too much to face. I refuse to languish in it any longer!

[Jaskier has been living in festive holiday sweaters for the past month once he realized his spring attire was going to do him no favors in his new environment, which is a shame because it is remarkably well-tailored and really suits his complexion. As much as he appreciates the colors and tinsel and sparkly bits, the jumpers aren't particularly flattering or versatile. He also needs more pairs of trousers.

(He tried to steal some of Anthony's, since they're of the same height, but they didn't make it past his thighs. He's unsure if his friend is aware of the attempted theft.)]

Edited 2023-12-24 15:25 (UTC)

[Crowley manages to valiantly resist the temptation to get into a philosophical discussion about the dangers of public forum, choosing to focus on the clothing situation.]

You know, I'm fairly certain the yetis would have made you an outfit or two if you'd asked.

[Too late for that now, though, so he'll nudge Jaskier towards one of the boujie vintage clothing stores; it's a little bit hipster, but Jaskier's a little bit of a hipster, so it's probably fine.]

Anyway, I thought the sweaters were terribly charming.

[There's an obvious tease in his voice, and he's just gonna duck into the store ahead of Jaskier, leaving him to reckon with that compliment alone.]

Those poor things always seem incredibly busy, especially as of late. I would hate to bother them for a problem I could easily remedy on my own.

[Jaskier forget that they could do that.

The compliment stops him in his tracks for a moment, before he rushes to catch up with his companion.]

Of course they're charming! I picked them out, didn't I? You should know by now that I have impeccable taste, present company included.

[Take that! He sees Anthony's compliment and raises him another compliment!]

Edited 2023-12-26 10:43 (UTC)

[The trick to handling compliments is to pretend to be distracted perusing the racks of clothing in a store; it gives Crowley time to be privately a little bit pleased about it, before he has to turn an arched eyebrow on Jaskier.]

Careful, Buttercup, it almost sounds like you're calling me charming.

[Which is clearly very dangerous. On account of the horrors*.

*Crowley being an insufferably smug bastard about it.]

Here, start with these. You don't have to like the color, we'll start with fabric and cut.

[These being two pairs of trousers in roughly Jaskier's size; they're both wool blends, since he figured it would be sensible to start with a natural fiber, but one pair are slim cut while the other is a relaxed fit.

He's likely going to be bossy today, that's the downside to asking for his expert assistance.]

[Anthony! That was smooth!]

I'm sorry I didn't make it more explicit, if you're still unsure.

[Unfortunately for Jaskier, he likes that Anthony's an insufferably smug bastard about it.

He dutifully takes the clothes and steps into an open dressing room. The sweater comes off, leaving only his linen undershirt.]

This wool is just divine. Do you think the sheep here are different from back home? It seems odd that two completely separate places have the same flora and fauna, with some exceptions of course.

[He starts with the looser trousers. The waist isn't as high as he's used to, and they're a bit tight all around. Jaskier tends to wear breeches that are tight around the waist but looser around the crotch and thighs, tapering down to his ankles. It hides the muscles in his legs and lets the eye be drawn to his more decorative doublets.]

I might need a larger pair.

[He steps out of the changing room. Though the length is right, the trousers cling and pinch in ways that show they're slightly too small. That combined with the thin linen shirt revealing a more than a flash of defined pecs and dark chest hair, Jaskier is a bit on display.

He spreads his arm and slowly turns so Anthony can get a proper view.]

What do you think?

[Plot twist: this supposed twink is actually a solid twunk!]

[The audacity of Jaskier to continue complimenting him. Crowley is choosing to ignore it for now, but will possibly be a smug bastard about it at some point.

But right now they're on a very important mission, never mind that he's poking idly through the racks for himself, even if he stays close enough to the changing room for a conversation.]

More likely it's how the wool's treated, and the fact you'll get a finer spun yarn with machines than you will on a loom.

[Based on what he knows of Jaskier's world, he's assuming they at least have a basic loom to work with, or some sort of magic equivalent; his clothes are too fine for it to be hand spun thread. But modern wool is treated entirely differently than it was a few hundred years ago, Crowley remembers how itchy it was most of the damn time, even if it was warmer than other options.

Any thoughts about wool go flying out of his head as soon as Jaskier steps out of the changing room, because Crowley is too busy looking scandalized.]

If I'd know you were bloody fit under those sweaters, I'd have picked a larger size. Fuck's sake.

[Crowley can't believe he thought they were in the twink club together only to be betrayed like this. He's never been more wounded.]

[Jaskier laughs in delight at his friend's reaction.]

When I say I've walked across the Continent, I do mean it literally, you know.

[There's teasing happening now, all at Anthony's expense.]

You've fallen for the oldest trick in the book, my friend. It's bad enough I've some height-- no one wants to feel intimidated by the bard singing and dancing around the room. The less of a threat I look, the more an audience likes me. I get far more tips that way.

[He's revealing trade secrets, now, and exposing himself to be a far more shrewd strategist than he presents.

He turns around to check out his own ass in the mirror and makes a face. There's some rather unflattering folds going on back there.]

Should I even bother trying on the other pair?

[He isn't sure they'll even make it up his legs.]

And I've been walking about on this stupid planet for millennia.

[So obviously walking has nothing to do with the amount of Thigh™️ that someone does or doesn't have!

In all honesty, though, the shrewdness is actually more impressive than the muscles, judging by the look on Crowley's face and the little head tilt he does while in the process of giving Jaskier a more discerning once over, now that all these secrets are being revealed.

He even hums about it, whatever that means.]

You must be missing your tailor.

[This is a compliment, in a way. It's obvious that Jaskier's tricks have worked, and Crowley doesn't doubt that he's learned how to walk a tailor through what he needs out of an outfit.]

Nah, take those off and I'll rustle up more options.

[This time in larger sizes and with an eye for cuts that will be flattering in line with the look that Jaskier is aiming for.

Three new pairs will just appear on the hook in the changing room, because he's nice like that.

One of them is definitely in a red tartan. It's a British thrift store, of course there are pants that some punk donated.]

Leon is a miracle worker.

[Jaskier sighs dramatically. He really does miss his tailor, and his shoemaker. And, well, his whole life really. But this place isn't all bad. He has Anthony, for one.]

Why Anthony, if you wanted me out of my clothes you only ever had to ask.

[He winks because he can't help himself, then twirls around and goes to change his pants. He starts with the tartan, because he loves color and pattern.]

A bit low-waisted for my tastes, but I do enjoy the pattern. There are some holes, but I'm not above darning when necessary.

[He doesn't know that the holes are for Fashion.]

Edited 2023-12-26 23:01 (UTC)

[This is why Jaskier and Aziraphale get along, they both have strong opinions about their clothing and probably know their tailors better than they know most people.]

Fooling about in the changing room is a young man's game.

[Ignore the fact that he isn't actually beholden to any of the reasons that would stop an old man from fooling around in a changing room, namely a lack of flexibility and a lack of propriety.]

You might have to get used to the waistline, having them that high fell out of fashion a long time ago. [And the clothes aren't cut the same, anything that high is going to look a bit silly.

Maybe he should've taken Jaskier to a tailor, but that would've required waiting. He could just miracle clothing for him, but that feels a bit too intimate. Or something.] And the holes are on purpose. It's punk.

So you're saying that if you were a millium younger, you'd take me up on the offer?

[Jaskier adores flirting-- the ebb and flow of charm, the double entendre, the teasing-- it's like a dance that's constantly shifting leads. In order to play the game well you have to be anticipate the next step and be able to adapt near instantaneously to your partner's moves when they surprise you. You must be willing to take charge and to be swept away in equal turn. He simply loves dancing-- it's no surprise that he loves courting as well.

He turns to, again, check out his bum in the mirror. This pair is much more flattering than the last.]

I don't think I can tolerate it. Holes for fashion-- it's absurd, is what it is! And wasteful! These wouldn't last me a year in my travels, so what's the point?

[He just can't do it. Some lines shouldn't be crossed-- this is apparently one of them.

He goes to change into a different pair.]

Edited 2023-12-27 03:11 (UTC)

Sure. [It's a teasing sort of sure, an indulgent one, like he's being so generous by allowing Jaskier to interpret that however he wants.

But also, because Crowley can't resist being ridiculous:] I'm just much too old for you, darling.

[What's the point of being back in London if he doesn't ham it up a little to sound like a proper, posh old queen. Someone is absolutely going to misinterpret this interaction and the knowledge is it's own kind of mischief.]

The downside to humans having figured out how to make clothing with machinery is that they've forgotten the value of it.

[Fast fashion would have been a great invention for Hell; it's nearly impossible to escape participating in a system that exploits human life. Crowley pretended he came up with it and got several commendations.]

People have got so many clothes that it doesn't matter if they only last a year or two.

[All it takes is one word with that teasing tone and Jaskier can feel his cheeks and the tips of his ears growing warm.

He sticks his head out of the dressing room to respond.]

My dear Anthony, love makes us young again.

[He ducks back in to finish changing. This pair is dark blue with no holes, so he's already a fan. The waist band isn't as high as he's used to, but it sits higher than the ones before. The fit is just right too-- loose and tight in the right places, de-emphasizing his hips and leading the eye down his figure.

He steps out with a grin on his face, holding his arms out to present himself.]

I think I quite like this one.

[He does a little twirl for good measure.]

[There's that word again.]

Feeling presumptuous, are we?

[He did tell Jaskier that demons aren't capable of love, and although they both know that's bullshit, it's a simple enough lie to play into when the alternative is dealing with uncomfortable emotions about someone else using the word love in his general direction, even as a joke.

Hopefully Jaskier will forget all about it if Crowley gives him a new compliment.]

You ought to like them. [Straight up saying "you look nice" is too difficult.] And they make you look terribly modern.

[Terribly (positive).]

With you, darling? Never.

[He lets Anthony snake (ha!) his way out of that dealing with real emotions and doesn't push further.]

They do, don't they?

[Jaskier is the fanciest of birds, strutting about and showing off his pretty feathers. He knows a compliment when he hears one and preens appropriately.]

Well, these are keepers for sure. Let's try the third pair, shall we?

[He's practically skipping back into the changing room.]

[This is why Jaskier is his favorite human; he has a good sense of when to let Crowley have a little space, whether it's from emotions or flirting or whatever else it might be.

It's appreciated, even if it isn't commented on.]

If the third pair don't work out, at least we've got an idea of what suits you.

[By the time Jaskier exits the changing room, Crowley has apparently found himself a nice leather jacket, since he's wearing that instead of his previous blazer.]

Edited (you ever re-read a sentence and decide it sucks) 2023-12-28 02:56 (UTC)

[If Anthony ever admits that Jaskier's his favorite human, he will be extremely obnoxious about it.

The third pair is tight, but it seems to be purposeful. He isn't sure how he'll be able to do literally anything in them, but the effect may well be worth it. The dark gray trousers sit low on the hips in an attractive sort of way, and the fabric has a bit of a sheen. It's almost like something Anthony would wear.

He looks fantastic.

He struts out of the changing room. He didn't even bother putting his shirt on for this pair, so Anthony gets a full show.]

What do you think?

[Huh.

The glasses are a saving grace, as they often are, because they do a good job of hiding the once-over that Crowley gives Jaskier, though there's no hiding how high his eyebrows go.

Attraction is an odd thing; he's not quite understood the humans that care about appearance over everything else, but he has to admit that sometimes there's no denying sheer aesthetics.]

Absolutely not, you'll start a riot.

[What kind of riot, Crowley???? HM????]

[Jaskier can't see it, but he can feel the his friend's gaze. He may not be able to know that he's being checked out, but he knows Anthony's looking. The attention makes his skin buzz.

He pouts as if Anthony said he looks terrible. There is so much pouting.]

Are you sure? I thought they look alright...

[He moves like he's going to go and change.]

[The lion, the witch, and the absolute audacity of this bitch. As if Crowley hasn't spent millennia dealing with Aziraphale's little pouts.]

Oh, don't play those games with me, buttercup. We both know you look terrific.

[Apparently the games worked, though, since Crowley is admitting that he looks good.]

A man does like to hear the words said aloud.

[This man in particular.]

I do think I'll take these, and the other pair. How much coin do you have on you? I still need some shirts, perhaps a jacket?

[This man also still thinks that currency is made up exclusively of coins.]

I do like the one you picked out. It suits you.

You ought to have named yourself after a peacock rather than a flower.

[On account of all the preening.

Which is a bold statement for someone who looks pleased at receiving a compliment in turn, acknowledging it with a little tip of his head.]

Don't worry about coin, I've got all that handled. And a jacket's not a bad idea, or a proper coat, even; you'll need one if we're spending the rest of the day in London.

[It's damp and chilly.]

That would be obnoxious, dear.

[He cocks his head, trying to decide how much more to reveal.]

Besides, peacocks are just pretty. Buttercups are poisonous.

Oh, a proper coat would be divine. It's so cold up there, I swear one of these days my cock is going to freeze and snap right off.

[This time he actually goes into the dressing room to put back on his holiday sweater and breeches. He comes holding the two pairs pants they've chosen.]

[Crowley makes a skeptical sort of noise, clearly refraining from pointing out that Jaskier is obnoxious.]

I've a hard time imagining you poisoning anyone.

[Not that he doesn't think Jaskier could potentially defend himself if he had to, but poisoning just doesn't seem like him.

The second noise he makes is more of an amused snort.]

Let's hope it doesn't come to that, hm?

[What a tragedy that would be, when no one's even gotten to enjoy it.]

Take your time having a poke around, I've been know to manage patience on occasion.

[This is a joke, mostly, since he's actually very patient, all things considered.]

You- I don't go around poisoning people! It's a metaphor!

[He throws his hand up into the air dramatically.]

I try to keep my bits attached, when possible. It's not always in my control, but I do what I can.

[It really would be a tragedy. That being said, it's not entirely true that no one (beside Jaskier) has gotten to enjoy it. He and Dan hit it off very well at Puss' welcoming party.]

I'll make sure to take advantage of your indulgence.

[Is he joking? He probably should be, but he's not. He will take your inch and run several miles.

What follows is a shopping montage 90s movies could only dream of, complete with Jaskier stepping out of a changing room in complete outfits for Anthony to nod approvingly or shake his head at. Please imagine the era-appropriate girly-pop song of your choice playing as the shenanigans ensure. There are so many shenanigans.

At one point he comes out of the changing room in an outfit perfect for clubbing. He's donned a holographic mesh crop top over a black harness, which frames his pecs quite nicely, and a pair of sinfully tight shorts.]

This one seems a tad indecent.

[He doesn't say it like it's a bad thing. In fact, he's got a stupid little grin on his face.]

[There's even a scene with silly hats and/or scarves involved, because that's an integral part of the shopping montage.

It's only unfortunate that the shopping montage didn't involve a break for Crowley to go acquire coffee, since a spit take would be the only appropriate reaction to the outfit that Jaskier ends up in. Instead, Crowley has to just laugh; it isn't at Jaskier, more the sort of shocked reaction that comes from Crowley being suddenly confronted with someone he fancies a bit wearing very revealing clothing.]

That's a lot bloody indecent. You're about six months early for the kink events at Pride month.

[Jaskier is not going to have the context for that statement, which is usually something that Crowley tries to be considerate about, but he's currently distracted by other things.]

[Jaskier keeps trying to put a hat with a fancy feather into their cart. Anthony puts it back. This goes on until Anthony finally burns the thing in his hand as Jaskier watches with a comically horrified look on his face.

He has no idea what "events at Pride month" means, but he does know the wordy "kinky", so he's going to assume that means he looks as sexy as he thinks he does.

He twists to check out his barely-covered backside in the mirror, which has the added benefit of giving Anthony a bit of a show.]

I'm not sure even the whores of Novigrad would be daring enough to go out in this.

[Once again, this does not seem to be a negative.]

[Crowley has no idea how to cope with this, it's like a reverse Pretty Woman. How is he supposed to go back to his life now that he knows what Jaskier's thighs look like?]

And you are?

[Brave enough to go out in that; Jaskier has to know that isn't exactly appropriate to wear outside in the middle of winter.]

I think I could be persuaded.

[Vanity's a hell of a drug.]

I will say that I have no idea what the appropriate venue for such an outfit would be.

[A lesser man would make an on-your-bedroom-floor joke, but Jaskier holds himself to a higher standard than that.]

You'll freeze your tits off.

[There's only so much magic that Crowley can work, and he doesn't think he could keep Jaskier warm for more than ten minutes if he's outside.]

The appropriate venue would be a bloody nightclub, likely a gay one, but it's a bit early for any to be open.

I think I'd shred this-- I'm not really sure if this can be considered a shirt, to be honest-- with my nipples first before they fell off.

[The concept of a gay night club is intriguing. He wants to know more.]

Tell me more about this "appropriate venue".

[He saunters over to Anthony and sits next to him, a bit (read: a lot) closer than necessary. He is an eager student, please learn him the ways of the modern gays.]

[That gets a proper laugh out of him, even if thinking about Jaskier's chest is probably dangerous territory.

This whole situation has become dangerous territory, actually, as Jaskier gets far closer than he ought to. Crowley arches an eyebrow, a clear I see what you're doing but he neither moves away nor tells Jaskier to back up.]

A nightclub is a bit like a tavern, without the food and instead it's got a whole lot of loud music, flashing lights, and drunk people dancing. A gay nightclub is all that but for blokes who fancy blokes.

[He's used words like queer and gay before but he can't remember if he actually provided a definition, and since Jaskier seems so casual talking about same sex attraction, he realizes they might not have specific words for it, where he's from.]

A lot of people go clubbing for the express purpose of getting laid, so it's a tad more acceptable to show up without much clothing.

[Anthony not moving away is a victory in Jaskier's book. He stops before their thighs touch, but only just.]

Bathhouses have fallen out of style, then.

[This is mostly a joke, but it's coming from the real sensation of being overwhelmed and slightly lost. This place is so different-- amazing, but different. He's not sure what he would do with Anthony to help him muddle through.]

[That's actually a valid question, and Crowley makes a non-committal noise as he decides how to frame his answer.]

Yes and no. We've still got bathhouses, but the expectation there is to be fooling around on the premises. The people at clubs who're looking to get laid tend to be planning to go home with someone or take 'em home. And unlike the bathhouses, there are folks who go to the clubs just to dance.

[This is, at least, his best summary of things, since he's not exactly super clued into the current scene.

Maybe he ought to be honest about this.]

You can take this with a grain of salt. I've not been properly clubbing for forty something years and I can't remember the last time I was at a bathhouse.

The club does sound more my style, then.

[Music, dancing, drinking, and the opportunity to leave with a partner (or partners) for a more private venue. If his encounter with Dan is any indication, the process of finding company for a night is the same as ever. He can always explore his other options in the future.]

You really have been a gods-send, Anthony. I'm afraid I might have been somewhat lost in all this mess without you.

[He is, of course, talking specific about the "procuring an appropriate wardrobe" process they're going through. If it could also be applicable to the rest of their current situation, that's just a convenient coincidence.

Reader, you must remember that this tender moment of emotional vulnerability is being had in the middle of a thrift store, while Jaskier is wearing something that can only be considered actual clothing by the loosest of definitions. The pleather of his short-shorts creaks every time he shifts his weight.]

I'd be getting drunk on far worse wines, at least.

[That would have been his suggestion, too, especially for a first time experience. Jaskier might have navigated bathhouses in his own world with ease, but Crowley is almost certain things would be different in this day and age, and he can't exactly provide advice.]

You might want to save that gratitude for when you're not wearing the most ridiculous outfit known to man.

[They can go with the pretense that this is about specifically the process of clothes shopping and not anything else. That's fine with Crowley. Never let it be said that he'll turn down an opportunity to avoid too many emotions.

He does, however, give Jaskier a pat on his bare thigh in both an unspoken you're welcome and an indication for him to get his ass up.]

Go put something sensible on before we lose the whole day in here. We've got plenty to do still.

[Emotional vulnerability happened for three seconds and that's enough for Crowley, time to move on.]

Edited 2023-12-31 05:27 (UTC)

Oh, I'm sorry, what was that? 'You're most welcome, Jaskier, I'm happy to do it for my devoted and handsome friend' you say? I humbly accept your compliments.

[A touch! Skin on skin contact! He is truly thriving.

The dark hairs on his leg stand up as Anthony pulls away. It's like his body is trying to cling on for as long as possible.

He stands and walks away, pausing before entering the changing room.]

So, the outfit's a keeper, right?

[He's might as well fish for one last compliment for the metaphorical road.]

[It goes without saying that Crowley rolls his eyes, indicating as such with his expression rather than his hidden eyes.]

If I'm taking you to a club, sure.

[Jaskier has received so many compliments already, Crowley isn't rising to that latest bait to give him yet another one.

Otherwise people might start to think he's not a bastard.]

[He slips past the curtain and changes into a more appropriate outfit they had picked out earlier.]

Well, I'm getting it, so I suppose you'll just have to.

[He comes out in a slightly muted, multi-colored button-up with vertical stripes of varying widths. It's tucked into a pair of light purple trousers. On top he wears a brown leather jacket. He's wearing the same leather boots he arrived in, they're perfectly function, but his socks are blue with a pattern of little yellow flowers.

Jaskier tosses the garments he just doffed into their cart, tousles his hair, and sends a rakish grin Anthony's way.]

Shall we?

[It's not an outfit that Crowley would ever wear, but he wears 99% black so he's not exactly the best judge when it comes to incorporating colors into fashion.

He'll just look fond and amused at that rakish grin.]

We shall.

[The cart sort of just follows him to the check out, since he isn't the kind of person who pushes a cart around a store, and leaves the problem of bagging Jaskier's items to the cashier. He's still wearing the leather jacket, so he just snaps off the tag and hands it over to be scanned with everything else.]

Where to next? We could pop into some other shops, head to a gallery, find somewhere for lunch? Has it been long enough since you last ate?

[The question of someone who does not need to eat and sometimes forgets what the feeding schedules are for humans.]

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every day, but usually only after someone's replied

that's always the greatest tragedy

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cw: canon-typical mention of sex workers

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