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Who: Aziraphale and OPEN
What: Just vibing around the North Pole tbh. May also serve as a general catchall for other bits and bobs through the month.
Where: Several places! Library, dining hall, Vaguely Around, etc.
When: The post-arrival pre-next plot zone. The settling-in zone, even.
Warnings/Notes: None yet, will update as needed/requested!

library.

[ Realistically, this is probably the number one place most guaranteed to get results in the Aziraphale sightings economy. The library is equal parts enrichment in his enclosure and a decent simulation of his native environment. Well, as long as he ignores the DVDs and CDs and such. Which he does.

If someone wanted to make a very posh zoo enclosure for a wild Aziraphale it would basically be this premise. He's in the library on the daily. Around the same time each day, probably, and winding up in the same specific chair, because he feels better when he can have one or two reliable little rituals on his schedule.

What he's got picked out tends to vary. Largely classic literature or stageplays, which he mostly thumbs through purely for the sake of seeing if they're very different in this reality. The ~big ones~. Austen, Wilde, Dickens, Shakespeare, Shelley, Tolkien, C.S. Lewis. Arthurian folklore but only when he's positive Crowley isn't in the library with him. For normal reasons. Some comically ancient guide of some sort about embroidery, because he's got it on the brain now.

(The very, very first thing that he makes sure to sit down with is a 'Winnie-the-Pooh' collected works, of course. It's actually so important that he knows they're the same as the ones he has memorized.)

While in the library, Aziraphale is largely open to socializing. If he's not open to socializing he'll simply not be in the library at all. He'll say friendly hellos every time he first walks in! He's happy to get introduced and talk literature and ask people about what they're reading if they seem amenable!

Although he does have a habit of hitting long stretches where he just sort of zones in on a book and stops paying attention to literally everything and everyone around him. Give him like an hour. He'll blink again, honest. ]

communal relaxation area.

[ Also a decent bet on places to find Aziraphale! It's cozy. He loves cozy. Coziness is in his top three favorite concepts humans came up with. Heaven is too minimalist to take the credit and Hell is too claustrophobic.

He might be reading by a very pretty window, as prophecy foretold. He might just be having some pastries and people-watching, like a cool normal person. An angel practicing his fancy shuffling and other card-based magic tricks? In your North Pole? It's more likely than you think. Important to note: the shuffling and sleight of hand are performed very poorly. Aziraphale is still thriving.

He's even more willing to socialize out here. It's what the whole setup is built for, truly. Come get your free "oh hello!"s and "how are you getting on?"s. Or if you like, in full 'old silly being an old silly' intonation: ]

Lovely weather we're having.

[ It's a low bar, being the funniest angel Heaven's ever turned out. But by god he's doing it. ]

wildcard.

[ for whatever other options! Aziraphale straight up doesn't do sleep, so he can theoretically be found at any hour in these locations, or like... out for a stroll or getting a snack or paging through a book. Doing everything in his power to not learn how to use the network or a modern phone or anything of the sort. If he recognizes anyone from the Wilderlands or the intro event, he's also likely to want to say hi and see how they're doing.

Possibly just having some cocoa and regarding the Globe of Belief with a very real sort of fondness. (A guardian is a guardian and Earth is Earth, even if this isn't the Earth he was made for and he's not the sort of guardian made specifically for it, technically. Always been a problem of his, he supposes. Getting attached.)

hmu with whatever or gimme a poke at

comatoseroses and we can work something out! i'll do closed starters idc. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Everything I say is a "me" thing.

[ He's the one saying the things?? Babe. Also: ]

Not especially. To each their own, I suppose.

[ Better than messing with a lighter and a lit Thing in a library, if he's honest. But what if he doesn't invoke that mental image today. ]

That's not — you know that's not what I meant.

[Maybe that isn't the case, but he's waving a hand at Aziraphale anyway, as if this somehow communicates literally anything.]

Well, once we get our hands on the traditional stuff, you can have fun rolling all the joints you'd like.

[Bold words for someone who will absolutely be in charge of that task the second that Aziraphale asks.]

[ Aziraphale decides that what Crowley meant was "I'm stoned and you ought to just go ahead and take most of what I say with a grain of salt as far as making sense goes." Communication success, no notes. ]

I will. [ For exactly as long as it takes him to put Crowley in charge of that task. Then he'll have even more fun. ] You'll see what I mean when the time comes.

[He is, probably, a suitable level of stoned for a demon, so he stops inhaling chocolate flavored vapor even if it means no longer tormenting Aziraphale.]

What the deuce does that mean? Why's that sound so ominous?

[Aziraphale is sometimes good at being accidentally ominous.]

[ What does he mean, what does that mean... it means what it means. ]

It doesn't sound ominous. It sounds-- normal! And friendly. [ Aziraphale is so fucking pleasant! All the time! This must be user error (it is not). ] What's wrong with "you'll see"?

'You'll see' is bloody ominous! That's a — that's some supervillain shit, angel.

[Wait, hold on, he has to do an appropriately spooky voice for this, which mostly just means dropping his a tiny bit deeper:]

You'll see.

[ Spooky voice or attractive tenor? Aziraphale's taking the tone into processing. But he doesn't think Crowley is very spooky, as a baseline.

He huffs. He scoffs, even. Definitely doesn't pout. ]

Crowley, you're clearly saying it with a different tone! It's not the same at all!

It's very much the same, I'm just —

[Words..... hard. He sort of grumbles unintelligibly for a moment while he tries to work out what he wants to say.]

Emphasizing the point. That's what I'm doing.

[girl what.]

A likely story from a ridiculous creature. No, you're misrepresenting me. I'm certain of it.

[ Crowley is being silly on main. A right that he's earned. Good for him. He's silly nonetheless. ]

Oh, you want ridiculous? I can be ridiculous.

[Wait, this is perfect. He's so happy??? He even sits upright slightly so he can tip his head down and look at Aziraphale over the top of his glasses.

You know, for dramatic effect.]

And then you'll see.

[FUCKING NAILED IT.

If only he sounded intimidating instead of flirty. But there's no helping that.]

[ Look at his beautiful idiot face.

Aziraphale wants to kiss him on his stupid mouth so bad. It's not fair. ]

Promised and delivered. Let no one say you can't perform well under pressure.

[Crowley points at Aziraphale very dramatically, about to say something wildly inappropriate, and then sort of waggles his finger at him as he tries to swerve on that.]

'Course I can. M'almost certain you were at the not-Armageddon with me.

[There was a lot of pressure there! And he didn't cock it up!

If only he got a commendation for that.]

[ No flirt is wasted, but alas that it seems to have gone over Crowley's head. A shame, if not very surprising given the circumstances. ]

Yes, I believe I did pop in on that for a minute. [ We joke. ] In fact, as I recall, your quick thinking was instrumental to the not prefix of not-Armageddon.

[ Which he was obviously counting on when he broke out the world's worst threat™️. ]

I am — very clever.

[With a broad sweep of his hand, so magnanimous, so humble, about how clever he is.]

And as we established, I didn't shoot you that one time. That's two for two.

[The only times he's been under pressure, naturally.]

[ Task one: try not to look charmed despite everything. Failed immediately. ]

The math is on your side, my dear. We'll try to see to it that you get a few years off before the next big one.

[ Unaware of the curse he has placed upon this pretend household, Aziraphale finally goes ahead and miraculously clears out what's left of the vape smell in here. ]

[He's just tucking that my dear away and trying not to look too pleased about it.]

It ought to be at least a few decades, that's how long it was between the two.

[@ God please let him enjoy his hard won peace.

God @ Crowley: no ❤️ []

[ Aziraphale pretends that he doesn't probably know the exact amount of time it's been since the church incident that snowballed into the magic show, specifically, give or take some leeway for other realities. Because he's normal. ]

Would you say that's been going smoothly so far?

[ What's the flavor profile of that most of a year he's heard about? He's hazarding a guess at ~familiar, earthy and palatable~. ]

Well, I got kicked out of my flat, but it's been alright aside from that. Lots of long lunches and awful plays.

[The plays aren't actually that bad, he just likes to complain and Aziraphale knows that he likes to complain so he doesn't get upset about it.]

You got kicked out? When did that happen?

[ BESTIE? BELOVED? How did that happen, even, it's not like they haven't got access to Earthly income up their sleeves. Crowley could surely make his bloody rent, couldn't he? ]

[Please hold while Crowley rewinds the conversation and realizes that he just admitted that out loud.

It hadn't seemed as important to keep it a secret here, since there's literally nothing to be done about it. Aziraphale can't offer to let him stay at the bookshop, since they don't have access to the bookshop, so this weird Schrodinger's cat can continue to exist.]

Technically, Hell owned the place, so... [A shrug, to illustrate all that.

He decides not to mention his replacement.] S'fine, really, I've got it sorted.

[Living in the Bentley does not count.]

They couldn't even let you rest on your laurels for a minute? Oh, the absolute gall--

[ It's rude. That's what it is, it's rude, what part of a very theatrical veiled threat about leaving Crowley alone didn't include his living space in the umbrella? Aziraphale is going to fuss about it. He's going to puff up about it and be all huffy, because it's offensive.

Not that it's not good that it's sorted. Got sorted. Will get sorted. However that timeline is even going to work out. Just. It shouldn't need to get to sorted in the first place!! ]

How are the plants taking it? [ The poor innocent plants!!!!!!! ] What sort of housewarming gift should I bring? Or-- actually, don't tell me, I'll make it a surprise. Plenty of time to think on it before we get back.

[ Something with a pop of color. Crowley's home decor needs it. Not that Aziraphale wants Crowley's new flat that he obviously has to feature a little something that deliberately stands out and makes him think of Aziraphale or anything. Of course.

He's out of flaming swords to give to recently displaced down on their luck individuals, tragically. ]

[Could he clarify that he had like eight months before Shax showed up? Sure, but in truth, that might as well be minutes for them considering the scale of their existence. Eight months is a blip.

He isn't sure why Aziraphale is puffed up like an offended owl about this; maybe it has something to do with the fact he was sort of responsible for trying to get Hell to leave Crowley alone?]

They'll take it well if they know what's good for them.

[Fucked up way to talk about your plants that are also a metaphor for yourself.

Also kind of fucked up not to tell Aziraphale that he doesn't have a new flat. It's fine. He'll never need to find out.]

Wine's always a good gift. [It takes some effort not to get all flustered about the prospect of a gift from Aziraphale.] We're lucky we kept the collection mostly in the shop, would've been a nightmare to move it.

Let them acclimate. [ Unexpected lifestyle changes are horrifying. Even for plants. The plants and Crowley have been through enough already.

Barely any time at all before Hell quite literally came knocking. They were hardly going to actually get an eternity unhindered. Lovely thing to think about, silly thing to hope for.

It's not-- well. All fine and good to think that it's not fair. Of course it's not. It's happened anyway. Spilled milk. Not helping anything to natter on about it now.

Wine. Noted. Better train of thought. Crowley can watch Aziraphale switch tracks and add it to his mysterious mental to-do list in real time. It's one of those things that only resurfaces every so often, like specific answers in a Magic 8 Ball, but it always keeps what he puts on it.

Wine, and then the rest will be a surprise. Sort of a, a care package. He'll put nice things in it. Crowley can gripe about how much he brings over and how Aziraphale must be trying to use his new flat for secondary storage, and Aziraphale will pretend that there are only so many things in there because he got indecisive while he shopped. Because he can't just say I want to know you're somewhere comfortable or I love you, don't you have any idea. He has to do other things, and then he has to look put out about Crowley ~not liking his gifts~ until Crowley has to accept them all on the pretense of making him feel better.

It's how it works.

He hasn't figured out the part of his wooing timeline where he understands how to make it work differently, so it's still how it works. There is obviously no need to ever consult Crowley, the co-creator of their strange and complex shared language, about any desires or attempts to communicate differently. ]

I can imagine. You already have a few things that would need to be handled very carefully. [ Not a ton of them, plants aside. Still enough to fuss over. Statues, glassware, that sort of thing.

He taps his fingers on the armrest of his comfy reading chair. ] Dreadful business.

[The urge to tell him to mind his business about the plants comes and goes easily; he doesn't feel the need to be overly surly right now, both because they're having a nice conversation and because he's not in the right frame of mind to be an arse.]

They're getting plenty of light, they'll be fine.

[There are lots of windows in the Bentley!

If he felt any guilt about not being fully honest, the concern on Aziraphale's face clears it right up; there's no need to worry him too much, even more so when they're here, where nothing can be done about it. Not that much can be done about it back in London, either. Fighting Hell over a piece of real estate isn't worth it, not when he'd rather avoid drawing their attention or ire.]

Eh, it's not worth fussing much over, angel. You know me, can't go too long without shaking things up anyway, might as well take the opportunity to try something new.

[Again, living in the Bentley does not count as trying something new.]

[ Hmmmmm. Good. Plenty of light is the ideal amount, in Aziraphale's opinion as a former professional gardener. At least there's that. That's something. ]

If it weren't worth fussing over, I wouldn't be fussed in the first place.

[ Obviously. Checkmate. ]