✨ god's little wildcard ✨ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
oldbookshop) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
nightlogs2023-10-01 08:21 pm
oldbookshop) wrote in nightlogs2023-10-01 08:21 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Who: Aziraphale and OPEN
What: Just vibing around the North Pole tbh. May also serve as a general catchall for other bits and bobs through the month.
Where: Several places! Library, dining hall, Vaguely Around, etc.
When: The post-arrival pre-next plot zone. The settling-in zone, even.
Warnings/Notes: None yet, will update as needed/requested!
library.
[ Realistically, this is probably the number one place most guaranteed to get results in the Aziraphale sightings economy. The library is equal parts enrichment in his enclosure and a decent simulation of his native environment. Well, as long as he ignores the DVDs and CDs and such. Which he does.
If someone wanted to make a very posh zoo enclosure for a wild Aziraphale it would basically be this premise. He's in the library on the daily. Around the same time each day, probably, and winding up in the same specific chair, because he feels better when he can have one or two reliable little rituals on his schedule.
What he's got picked out tends to vary. Largely classic literature or stageplays, which he mostly thumbs through purely for the sake of seeing if they're very different in this reality. The ~big ones~. Austen, Wilde, Dickens, Shakespeare, Shelley, Tolkien, C.S. Lewis. Arthurian folklore but only when he's positive Crowley isn't in the library with him. For normal reasons. Some comically ancient guide of some sort about embroidery, because he's got it on the brain now.
(The very, very first thing that he makes sure to sit down with is a 'Winnie-the-Pooh' collected works, of course. It's actually so important that he knows they're the same as the ones he has memorized.)
While in the library, Aziraphale is largely open to socializing. If he's not open to socializing he'll simply not be in the library at all. He'll say friendly hellos every time he first walks in! He's happy to get introduced and talk literature and ask people about what they're reading if they seem amenable!
Although he does have a habit of hitting long stretches where he just sort of zones in on a book and stops paying attention to literally everything and everyone around him. Give him like an hour. He'll blink again, honest. ]
communal relaxation area.
[ Also a decent bet on places to find Aziraphale! It's cozy. He loves cozy. Coziness is in his top three favorite concepts humans came up with. Heaven is too minimalist to take the credit and Hell is too claustrophobic.
He might be reading by a very pretty window, as prophecy foretold. He might just be having some pastries and people-watching, like a cool normal person. An angel practicing his fancy shuffling and other card-based magic tricks? In your North Pole? It's more likely than you think. Important to note: the shuffling and sleight of hand are performed very poorly. Aziraphale is still thriving.
He's even more willing to socialize out here. It's what the whole setup is built for, truly. Come get your free "oh hello!"s and "how are you getting on?"s. Or if you like, in full 'old silly being an old silly' intonation: ]
Lovely weather we're having.
[ It's a low bar, being the funniest angel Heaven's ever turned out. But by god he's doing it. ]
wildcard.
[ for whatever other options! Aziraphale straight up doesn't do sleep, so he can theoretically be found at any hour in these locations, or like... out for a stroll or getting a snack or paging through a book. Doing everything in his power to not learn how to use the network or a modern phone or anything of the sort. If he recognizes anyone from the Wilderlands or the intro event, he's also likely to want to say hi and see how they're doing.
Possibly just having some cocoa and regarding the Globe of Belief with a very real sort of fondness. (A guardian is a guardian and Earth is Earth, even if this isn't the Earth he was made for and he's not the sort of guardian made specifically for it, technically. Always been a problem of his, he supposes. Getting attached.)
hmu with whatever or gimme a poke at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
comatoseroses and we can work something out! i'll do closed starters idc. ]
What: Just vibing around the North Pole tbh. May also serve as a general catchall for other bits and bobs through the month.
Where: Several places! Library, dining hall, Vaguely Around, etc.
When: The post-arrival pre-next plot zone. The settling-in zone, even.
Warnings/Notes: None yet, will update as needed/requested!
library.
[ Realistically, this is probably the number one place most guaranteed to get results in the Aziraphale sightings economy. The library is equal parts enrichment in his enclosure and a decent simulation of his native environment. Well, as long as he ignores the DVDs and CDs and such. Which he does.
If someone wanted to make a very posh zoo enclosure for a wild Aziraphale it would basically be this premise. He's in the library on the daily. Around the same time each day, probably, and winding up in the same specific chair, because he feels better when he can have one or two reliable little rituals on his schedule.
What he's got picked out tends to vary. Largely classic literature or stageplays, which he mostly thumbs through purely for the sake of seeing if they're very different in this reality. The ~big ones~. Austen, Wilde, Dickens, Shakespeare, Shelley, Tolkien, C.S. Lewis. Arthurian folklore but only when he's positive Crowley isn't in the library with him. For normal reasons. Some comically ancient guide of some sort about embroidery, because he's got it on the brain now.
(The very, very first thing that he makes sure to sit down with is a 'Winnie-the-Pooh' collected works, of course. It's actually so important that he knows they're the same as the ones he has memorized.)
While in the library, Aziraphale is largely open to socializing. If he's not open to socializing he'll simply not be in the library at all. He'll say friendly hellos every time he first walks in! He's happy to get introduced and talk literature and ask people about what they're reading if they seem amenable!
Although he does have a habit of hitting long stretches where he just sort of zones in on a book and stops paying attention to literally everything and everyone around him. Give him like an hour. He'll blink again, honest. ]
communal relaxation area.
[ Also a decent bet on places to find Aziraphale! It's cozy. He loves cozy. Coziness is in his top three favorite concepts humans came up with. Heaven is too minimalist to take the credit and Hell is too claustrophobic.
He might be reading by a very pretty window, as prophecy foretold. He might just be having some pastries and people-watching, like a cool normal person. An angel practicing his fancy shuffling and other card-based magic tricks? In your North Pole? It's more likely than you think. Important to note: the shuffling and sleight of hand are performed very poorly. Aziraphale is still thriving.
He's even more willing to socialize out here. It's what the whole setup is built for, truly. Come get your free "oh hello!"s and "how are you getting on?"s. Or if you like, in full 'old silly being an old silly' intonation: ]
Lovely weather we're having.
[ It's a low bar, being the funniest angel Heaven's ever turned out. But by god he's doing it. ]
wildcard.
[ for whatever other options! Aziraphale straight up doesn't do sleep, so he can theoretically be found at any hour in these locations, or like... out for a stroll or getting a snack or paging through a book. Doing everything in his power to not learn how to use the network or a modern phone or anything of the sort. If he recognizes anyone from the Wilderlands or the intro event, he's also likely to want to say hi and see how they're doing.
Possibly just having some cocoa and regarding the Globe of Belief with a very real sort of fondness. (A guardian is a guardian and Earth is Earth, even if this isn't the Earth he was made for and he's not the sort of guardian made specifically for it, technically. Always been a problem of his, he supposes. Getting attached.)
hmu with whatever or gimme a poke at
i wasn't gonna ask but aaaaa i missed this thread
It's about the Director. I...Have complicated feelings about him, and I can't seem to find the right person to discuss them with. In fact it appears that it might make people uncomfortable.
[Price looks down nervously.]
As you may know, I deeply respect the Director. I value him and his guidance over everything else. However I find myself feeling...Scared at the idea of him showing up in this dimension. It is something I have been wanting for the longest time, and yet I...I believe that he would be inconvenienced and disappointed, learning about my injury, and might decide not to work with me anymore.
[He is talking about a dead man, mind you. Has he even mentioned it to Aziraphale? Either way, Aziraphale has witnessed some memories and actively said that he didn't like the way the Director treated Price, so maybe this isn't even the right person to ask.]
...And that would sadden me to say the least. I don't feel comfortable voicing this to others because they have been disrespectful towards the Director and his practice, and I am sure they believe we would all be better off if he decided to discard me completely, but I disagree. He is all I have and all I care about...I do acknowledge however that I may no longer be suitable to serve him. For this reason I was wondering whether there was some...Higher perspective that could help me make up my mind? I can see why it would be needed for me to drop this and focus on the community. On the other hand I really, really want to be enough for him.
no subject
I see.
[ It's good overall, Aziraphale thinks, that Price not only wants to discuss this at all, but willingly brought it up with him. That he's seeking other opinions and perspectives. He only hopes he doesn't let the Counselor down. ]
I suppose I made it no secret that I wasn't fond of how your Director treated you. Ah-- what I've witnessed of it, in any case. [ He'll leave that much space on the matter. Acknowledge that there's quite a lot of history there that he's not privy to, a lot of context and all that. ] But, um, by the same token I suppose that isn't at all what this conversation is meant to be about. So I'll set that to the side while I think. Come at this purely neutrally, as someone who would like to see you happy and fulfilled. Yes?
[ Confirmation-seeking: the way to fulfil your daily quota of people-pleaser tendencies even though you may wind up having an opinion that your-- friend? Ward? Colleague?-- doesn't care for. ]
no subject
[Price feels a little silly now because of course, it's a complicated matter and it's embarrassing enough that he came up to Aziraphale solely to discuss his feelings. Who cares if he has some concerning limerence for the Director? It's a him problem.]
These are... [He nods towards his books.] These are cookbooks for kosher recipes. The Director is jewish and I figure he would appreciate food that is custom made around his religion.
[Not that he's ever seen him practice, the man is private like that. One time he tried to light a menorah for him and ended up being yelled at. Then again he doesn't really care about religion, why would he? So he might have done something wrong. But he'll study it if it impresses the Director.]
I am also considering applying to work in the infirmary. I am currently wondering whether there is anything else in terms of social conventions that I could do to make him more comfortable upon a hypothetical arrival...Given that he's a private person and very inclined to use technology and it does not seem to be available here, this is vastly outside his range of interests.
[He's getting ahead of himself, trying to put out a fire that hasn't even started yet. The Director is a bit like a wildfire, one that not only destroys anything it touches but incorporates it into itself to become bigger. Price himself has violent and destructive urges, but he's so much more cowardly and tame in nature, because unlike the Director he is not easy to love once he has an outburst.]
Um. Yes, that is all the relevant information that comes to mind at the moment.
no subject
It's not such a terrible thing, after all, preparation. When one has some idea of what might help a familiar face settle, what particular challenges they may face given the setting. He'd thought about that for Crowley for a bit, in the Wilderlands, although it isn't quite the same.
More akin to worrying about one of the Archangels arriving, or the Almighty briefly popping into this reality for a look. Something like that. The anxious dread of it. The preemptive understanding that one is inevitably going to disappoint, in a wobbly sort of way that fails to account for precisely how, because that bit was always tricky to predict. The. The feeling adrift, when your understanding was always that the point of you was to be a part of something, to be in service of something, only to wind up cut loose. In a manner of speaking.
Not precisely the same, of course. Of course. It's ridiculous of him to, to allude to the idea of holding Heaven and humanity by the same standards in regards to his treatment. Even just in his own mind. It isn't the point, besides. ]
I do think it's very kind of you to be giving this so much thought. Consideration can be so underappreciated, in any form. And I think... if it does help ease your mind to learn the recipes and to think about how his interests may need to shift, just in case, there's hardly any harm in that. Your Director is very important to you, after all. And working in the infirmary sounds like a wonderful idea all around, if it interests you. You could help quite a lot of people there.
[ And there are plenty of other eyes in the infirmary if Price got to worrying about a morality slip. A good steady way to engage positively with people, on his own terms, while having a bit of control over when the interaction ends. ]
That being said, I hope it isn't the only thing you let yourself pursue. You deserve your breathing room and, and that search for appropriate outlets, and your own comfort here, hm? Just-- a bit of balance, I suppose. If the Director arrives in this reality and happens to be foolish enough to write you off [ okay look he can't not be a little bit of a bitch on principle about that, literally who does the Director think he is ], I want-- well, I want to be sure you know you're not, um. You're not alone. If it somehow comes to that. You used the word "community," I think that's a lovely way to think about it. You'll certainly at least still have me.
[ However much that truly helps, in this moment with this specific line of concern, or in that future hypothetical moment. ]
no subject
[This is really making him want to go to the bookshop. As soon as possible, so that there's little room for trouble since Aziraphale knows how to handle him. He might be the only one. Sometimes Dan too, who can be gentle to a near pathological extent, is too rough not to hurt him. When it comes to actual relationships, at least.
He's just not used to having them. What he is used to is seeing other people as tools and, in exchange, being a tool himself to further someone else's plan. It's all very technical, feelings are nothing but ammunition. He's either this looming, unkillable entity that puts you under a magnifying glass and burns you with it, or this scrawny little man to be dismissed, dominated, berated, tossed around and even held at gun point. If we are still in the realm of conversation, that is. The only thing that decides which one he will be is the Director. The Director may not have been warm or friendly with him, but there was some protection that came with serving him.]
I suppose that either way, he would end up gravitating towards me due to his reserved nature and refusal to socialize.
[Not the healthiest thing to brag about.]
He happens to be misunderstood very often because he takes some degree of pleasure in talking down to people. So I could make sure to help him during the aftermath of some argument.
no subject
It does sound plausible, yes. Familiarity can be very reassuring. [ He loves when things are familiar and predictable, and he isn't even human. Humans must love it even more than he does. He does not have factual basis for this assumption at all. ] I suppose-- I suppose this crowd can get a bit argumentative, can't they?
[ Lest one forget the great leadership debate of the Wilderlands. Had to pass around a talking pillow and everything. ]
no subject
[Literally the "wildest" thing that happened in terms of dynamic was when he himself pushed Dan into a river - for something he'll forever get away with, but let's not go on that tangent, brain damage makes it more difficult to control an already present underlying rage and that's not safe - and other deliberate acts of sabotages from him.
Arguing about leadership not only isn't bad, it's necessary, even though becoming aggressive on the matter makes the discussion unproductive. Point is, if Price did not enjoy what he did during PFL the Director would have forced him to or else killed him for knowing too much, and that is the healthiest dynamic that he's ever had and looked up to, he thinks. He just has a whole different standard for what an argumentative crowd is, and this is definitely not one. He didn't even receive any violence!
Price summarizes the entirety of this thought process with a shrug.]
no subject
[ It's the North Pole. Most of the time it's just very nice. A mission every few months might not be enough, no matter how chaotic they've been so far.
Being properly stimulated by one's surroundings goes hand in hand with the entire concept of comfort, after all. Just look at Crowley; if he couldn't get out a bit, he'd be metaphorically chewing on the furniture by now. ]
wrap
[He does consider it normal. The war started when he was young, and honestly? For him to turn out like that, his early life experiences must not have been too far from war.]
But we do still have missions, here. I can always rely on that familiarity. Besides, understanding what type of organization is needed in this environment might allow me to help the Director with it...If he were to come here, at least.
[Hm. Yes, it's always awkward when he brings him up, isn't it?]
Well...Thank you so much for listening. If you get any idea for a helpful activity I can start, I am always glad to hear it. I will see you later.
[Should he wave? No, that's too silly, he should-- did he just instinctively courtsy? Crap. There: handshake. That's a better greeting. Then he nods, and struts out of the room in what might look like confidence but is actually pure embarrassment. He did good, though! See? He can be himself and social, life needs to stop with making him choose one or the other.]