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Who: Aziraphale and OPEN
What: Just vibing around the North Pole tbh. May also serve as a general catchall for other bits and bobs through the month.
Where: Several places! Library, dining hall, Vaguely Around, etc.
When: The post-arrival pre-next plot zone. The settling-in zone, even.
Warnings/Notes: None yet, will update as needed/requested!

library.

[ Realistically, this is probably the number one place most guaranteed to get results in the Aziraphale sightings economy. The library is equal parts enrichment in his enclosure and a decent simulation of his native environment. Well, as long as he ignores the DVDs and CDs and such. Which he does.

If someone wanted to make a very posh zoo enclosure for a wild Aziraphale it would basically be this premise. He's in the library on the daily. Around the same time each day, probably, and winding up in the same specific chair, because he feels better when he can have one or two reliable little rituals on his schedule.

What he's got picked out tends to vary. Largely classic literature or stageplays, which he mostly thumbs through purely for the sake of seeing if they're very different in this reality. The ~big ones~. Austen, Wilde, Dickens, Shakespeare, Shelley, Tolkien, C.S. Lewis. Arthurian folklore but only when he's positive Crowley isn't in the library with him. For normal reasons. Some comically ancient guide of some sort about embroidery, because he's got it on the brain now.

(The very, very first thing that he makes sure to sit down with is a 'Winnie-the-Pooh' collected works, of course. It's actually so important that he knows they're the same as the ones he has memorized.)

While in the library, Aziraphale is largely open to socializing. If he's not open to socializing he'll simply not be in the library at all. He'll say friendly hellos every time he first walks in! He's happy to get introduced and talk literature and ask people about what they're reading if they seem amenable!

Although he does have a habit of hitting long stretches where he just sort of zones in on a book and stops paying attention to literally everything and everyone around him. Give him like an hour. He'll blink again, honest. ]

communal relaxation area.

[ Also a decent bet on places to find Aziraphale! It's cozy. He loves cozy. Coziness is in his top three favorite concepts humans came up with. Heaven is too minimalist to take the credit and Hell is too claustrophobic.

He might be reading by a very pretty window, as prophecy foretold. He might just be having some pastries and people-watching, like a cool normal person. An angel practicing his fancy shuffling and other card-based magic tricks? In your North Pole? It's more likely than you think. Important to note: the shuffling and sleight of hand are performed very poorly. Aziraphale is still thriving.

He's even more willing to socialize out here. It's what the whole setup is built for, truly. Come get your free "oh hello!"s and "how are you getting on?"s. Or if you like, in full 'old silly being an old silly' intonation: ]

Lovely weather we're having.

[ It's a low bar, being the funniest angel Heaven's ever turned out. But by god he's doing it. ]

wildcard.

[ for whatever other options! Aziraphale straight up doesn't do sleep, so he can theoretically be found at any hour in these locations, or like... out for a stroll or getting a snack or paging through a book. Doing everything in his power to not learn how to use the network or a modern phone or anything of the sort. If he recognizes anyone from the Wilderlands or the intro event, he's also likely to want to say hi and see how they're doing.

Possibly just having some cocoa and regarding the Globe of Belief with a very real sort of fondness. (A guardian is a guardian and Earth is Earth, even if this isn't the Earth he was made for and he's not the sort of guardian made specifically for it, technically. Always been a problem of his, he supposes. Getting attached.)

hmu with whatever or gimme a poke at

comatoseroses and we can work something out! i'll do closed starters idc. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Aziraphale pinches the bridge of his nose. How is this somehow more exhausting than averting an apocalypse or fleeing from nightrenders?

Chocolate cake flavor. Smoke. What the fuck are humans doing. ]

If I want to taste chocolate cake, I'll take myself to the dining hall and find actual cake. Stop being absurd.

[Note to self: take Aziraphale to one of those stupid fancy restaurants where one of the courses is just a bunch of smoke under a cloche.]

Ah, but will the chocolate cake get you high?

[SURPRISE BITCH IT'S WEED.]

It might just, if I ask nicely enough.

[ North Pole staff, what is your source. Reveal the secrets.

Literally would rather discorporate than use that thing anyway. ]

And I imagine it would look much less ridiculous. [ gottem ]

Is that a trick out of Yeshua's book?

[Water into wine. Chocolate cake into weed brownies.]

Bold of you to make a fuss about looking ridiculous. I've seen your magic act.

[Check and mate.

And more smoke, too. He's just going to keep using the vape now.]

[ All the work that Aziraphale puts into miming like he's zipping his mouth shut to keep a weed brownies secret, only to end up freshly offended. ]

Stage magic is fun and entertaining. You can hardly give it the same presentation as an academic lecture. [ Scoff! Huff!!!

He picks his book back up and everything, he so totally doesn't even care actually. ]

[Oh, he's picked up that book, that means business.

Crowley continues turning the area around them into a chocolate cake scented scene from Silent Hill, though the vapor mysteriously doesn't intrude on the rest of the library.]

That's not my point. My point is that it's as equally ridiculous as vaping. More ridiculous, actually, since at least vaping can get you stoned.

[ The audacity of this bitch. ]

Noted. I'll mark you as a preemptive "no fun no-show" next time I have a chance to perform, then.

[ He won't even invite him he will just languish, unsupported by his closest companion in his enthusiasms! Crowley will be too busy making rooms smell and complaining about fun! ]

Probably for the best, last two times I've been to your magic shows, someone almost got shot.

[That's a bad track record!! For both of them!!]

I don't see why the first one counts. That was the trick.

[ And Crowley did it beautifully! Just like he knew he would! Not going to bring that trick out of retirement anytime soon, of course, lord no, but still. This disrespect for the intricate ritual of it all. Inconsiderate.

Something something metaphors, love as a tool for harm but being able to hand it to someone and trust that they won't use it for that, something something Aziraphale's dumb romanticizing ass really has not considered that maybe for Crowley that was just extremely stressful all around and not a thrilling momentous series of memories??? ]

[There's the temptation to point out that Aziraphale is being a hypocrite, considering how cranky he got about Crowley being discorporated, but that feels a little dangerous, to bring that up.]

It was still bloody terrifying! [He will be a little more honest, though, as a treat.] Would've been a right mess, especially after we went to all that trouble to not get shot by Nazis.

[That's one way of framing what happened, rather than just being blunt about Crowley saving him.]

[ Wow, that was different because a) it was Crowley and b) it wasn't Aziraphale and c) the discorporation actually happened. Obviously.

Hm. Hmmm. Aziraphale will look up from pretending to read for this. Try to run a google translate on Crowley's face. ]

Terrifying? Was it really? [ Cool ways to say he's straight up never thought of it through that lens. We are non-judgmentally confused in the club right now. ] Not that it wasn't nerve-wracking, obviously, the whole thing went a bit sideways, but.

[ Terrifying? ]

[When replaying this conversation later, Crowley will regret getting high before it, because it makes him much more willing to actually say things that he'd usually bite back.

He looks at Aziraphale like he's wondering if he's being fucked with, because he remembers how he felt that night and thought it would've been obvious how scared he was.]

'Course it was — you — [Sometimes a demon has to aggressively gesture with a vape, to get his point across.] — I thought I was going to discorporate you!

[ This is what the kids call a real "sale sale" versus "sasa lele" moment. ]

But you didn't. [ They had a trust moment and fully committed to the bit together, it was lovely. Although, well. As much work as Crowley's historically put into saving him (and as much work doing that as Aziraphale has maybe perhaps engineered historically, and enjoyed seeing him bask in a rescue well done)... hmmmmmmmm.

Could have been unsettling. From that angle. A bit. Sounds fake because Aziraphale had the privilege of knowing it was Crowley on the other end which always mitigates a bit of worry w/r/t physical peril, but okay?

He makes a thoughtful sound somewhere in the back of his throat. ]

If I knew you were that worried about it, I would have given you a blank round from the start.

[ Not nearly as ~spicy~ a technique, that. If it would have made Crowley feel better, though. ]

[The downside to Crowley being a little high in this moment is that he's being far more truthful than he would have been, otherwise. The upside is that he doesn't immediately lose his shit at that comment, and chooses, instead, to take a looooong pull on the vape.]

Why was I not offered that option back then?

[ Aziraphale almost sort of begins to feel like he might be in trouble?? Even though he is the specialest magician?

Hmm surely not. ]

Because the book called for live rounds. And I was rather under the impression that you were familiar with handling firearms. So.

[ Fruity hand swirl. ~So~ he fucked around and live rounds he brought, and then he found out through unanticipated miracle blockage (definitely not from lack of asking clarifying questions). Duh. ]

[Hm.

Crowley considers this point, which involves squinting at Aziraphale despite the fact he's right in front of him.

Then he seems to concede the argument, with his own fruity hand swirl.]

I suppose that one's on me for not being more clear about my familiarity with firearms.

[The thing is, though... the thing is that Aziraphale had seemed all hopeful about it and he had wanted to impress him and be someone he could rely on.

If he'd known there was going to be a miracle blocker involved, things would've been different.]

[ The heavy communications lifting that only gay gesturing can do. Aziraphale nods about it like it's an entire essay. He tragically recontextualizes the entire show.

So much for doing something very grand and impressive to romantically help Crowley out for once. He got carried away and made him think he was going to physically murder him.

Now he can never reference this memory in his wedding vows. Ugh. ]

I suppose I did put you on the spot about it. Short notice and all that. [ Aziraphale will make that much of a concession himself. In the spirit of fairness. ] Well, all the more reason to keep that particular act retired.

[ He maintains that it doesn't count as someone almost getting shot, on a technicality. ]

[Is this what it feels like to have open communication? It's kind of wild but also kind of nice? He talked about his feelings and Aziraphale didn't like, mock him or look at him with any kind of disdain, so that's... fine?]

You were helping me out of a tight spot, though, and I suppose no one did get shot.

[Healthy communication but also a teensy bit of back pedaling so that Aziraphale doesn't think he wasn't appreciative of the assist.]

You'd best stick to sleight of hand, that was the real show stopper.

[On account of it saved Crowley from, well, a rather unpleasant fate.]

[ They stay winning. Sort of. Aziraphale is winning the most, of course, because he just got ~free praise~ and he loves when he gets free praise.

He's pathetic. He's in love. He's putting it into his brain scrapbook of validations, which is 90% Crowley and 10% random humans across time. ]

Sleight of hand is more fun to perform, anyway. When you get it right.

[ He's very good at not letting himself think about what would have happened if it hadn't gone right. It's just more fun. Is all. Takes a little more learned practical skill. ]

[He's probably being too much of a soft touch, time to fix Aziraphale with a teasing look.]

The getting it right is the important part.

[Once every century or so he gets it right, and he's having fun, so obviously that's the important part, even if Crowley fusses.]

You sure you don't want some of this? It's not awful, really.

[With a gesture to the vape; he's having a great time, tbh.]

The learning it is the important part. Getting it right comes with practice.

[ If one... actually frequently practices instead of dipping back into it after a stretch of years for the convenient novelty. None of which discounts the fun. ]

Oh, it's not awful. [ Why didn't Crowley just say so, wow. ] A ringing endorsement, my dear, but my "no" remains firm.

[ Beautiful, beloved. Looking fucking ridiculous. ]

I think practice requires some sort of consistency.

[Beautiful, beloved, Crowley is calling him the fuck out because he knows he only remembers the magic like once a decade, at best.

Consider: what if Crowley stuck his tongue out at him and then promptly decided to get more comfortable on one of the arm chairs, which mostly involves him sitting sideways on it, legs dangling one of the arms.]

More for me, then. You might have to carry me out if I forget how legs work.

[Hahaha funny joke.]

[ Aziraphale doesn't stick his tongue out in retaliation because he has so much dignity and coolheadedness. He just scrunches his nose up in a very you rude bitch sort of way. Calling him out. The audacity. ]

I think by the time I'm finished here, you'd be bored enough to have rediscovered how legs work twice over. But do keep me updated.

[ Not that he'd ever like to gently carry this idiot demon to a bed or anything haha. ]

[Crowley makes a very dismissive pfft sound, full of such doubt.]

Like I've not got plans to tempt you out for a bite to eat before then.

[The North Pole is lovely, but Crowley hasn't been slacking on the 'belief' front, so he has enough juice for a quick teleport.]

[ Aziraphale is so good at stopping himself from saying things like oh, how romantic to Crowley, either sincerely or with the deniable buffer of dryness enshrouding it. The work he puts into his repression every single day even though he's literally meant to be a being of love.

All he has in this economy is looking stupidly fond and long-suffering. ]

Diabolical as ever. [ You are the least diabolical creature he knows. ] I hope you know that contraption of yours isn't invited.

[ He'll sit down at a table and turn that vape into an embarrassing kazoo so fast, don't test him. ]

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i'm stealing book canon for this no one can stop me

calls the good omens police on u

I'm not going back to prison 🔫

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