hallelujahjunction: (Basic - Eyelashes)
Dan Sagittarius ([personal profile] hallelujahjunction) wrote in [community profile] nightlogs2023-12-25 12:40 am

I Had Nothing to Say on Christmas Day When You Threw All Your Clothes in the Snow [Closed]

Who: Dan and Miguel
What: Miguel finds out something concerning about Dan.
Where: The workshop.
When: After Christmas.
Warnings/Notes: Dan's crazy politics in the forefront; probable references to dead kids and substance abuse.

Miguel did, in fact, get a sky-blue and white puzzle box for Christmas, wrapped with corresponding paper and left outside his door on the morning of the holiday itself. The locking mechanism is different than the one he observed Dan making. Dan has, as the march of time has inevitably drawn him closer to the time of year he struggles with the most, been doing everything he can to stay busy, and that means each box has been individualized and has been a grounds for experimentation. Such intensive work brought Dan right up to Christmas Eve making and wrapping gifts, which was perfect; in stressing about getting boxes in hands, he didn't have much time for gloominess or panic or working himself up in hypotheticals about how everything's going to go wrong somehow.

But now the holiday's over, and aside from New Year's Eve, there isn't anything to distract him. He's taken back to chewing on his hands, and after he accidentally bites hard enough on one of his fingers to leave a blue moon-shaped bruise under his nail, he decides to do something about it.

He's noticed, of course, that there are some people here at the Pole who don't fit into standard-sized clothing, and that that limits their options for warm clothing. The myth powers may buffer people a little bit, but Dan's seen enough people have their powers dampened or switched up on them to think it's wise to entirely eschew a wardrobe of layers. And he's been intending to talk to Miguel ever since he somewhat rudely ignored the hell out of that last attempt Miguel made to rally the new myths into organizing.

After having asked around and gotten a sense of when Miguel might be available - when Dan won't be interrupting some important Work, which he knows is important to Miguel - Dan knocks on Miguel's bedroom door with a messenger's bag over his shoulder.
ninjavampire: concept art <user name=AmiThompson_h site=twitter.com> (pic#16512963)

[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-26 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
He looks slightly confused at Dan's answer.

"You've decided that already... why?"

Why would Dan reject mutually beneficial things??? Miguel stands still, otherwise muting the reaction while he keeps his body at a neutral curve. He will inevitably have to compensate in some manner with how bendy his joints were. Hunching, crouching, and crawling low were just as natural as standing up.

"I get disliking the noise of a crowd..."

Except Dan mentioned liking parties, so it's not that. He's just fishing around for anything that seemed reasonable from his point of view.
ninjavampire: (pic#16643789)

[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-27 01:46 am (UTC)(link)
"I don't want to hear it from Elle." he says. "I want to hear it from you."

And that's as forceful as his voice gets - which, given size and proximity, wasn't insignificant - but he wasn't upset. He was a little surprised to hear it from Dan, because of his gentle nature and because of the softer things they shared together at this same table.

As for the tailoring - well, it was hard to reject a gift that involved Dan measuring him up and down. More importantly than that, it interrupted his train of tought before the anger built up too much. He had a harder time recognizing when emotions began to snowball. So, he sighs at the request, like the hiss of a pressure release valve, and closes his eyes. He considers the answer.

"I.. hopefully won't be doing too much wallcrawling in these clothes, but flexible would be a safe bet. I don't want to tear them."

He remembers Elle's insistence on the asking, and changes tack a little. Less authoritative. That wasn't going to get him anywhere.

"Can you at least tell me what's worrying you in more detail?"
ninjavampire: (pic#16573001)

[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-27 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
"If keeping to ourselves were enough, then Kuk would be a problem that would have already resolved itself."

That answer was unacceptable, but he didn't want to coerce Dan into agreeing with him. He was starting to see him closer to a friend than not... He appreciates that Dan answered the question despite his discomfort.

He tries to turn to re-engage, to make eye contact with him, but the position is awkward. Moving too much will messy up the measurements, and he doesn't want to disturb Dan's process any further. So he goes back into the neutral position, staring on ahead. He finds a wooden nail on the wall to keep his eyes busy, instead.

"Your job was dealing with ghosts and monsters. Finding a middle ground here shouldn't be impossible, right?"

He hopes so. Miguel likes to think he's not as bad as whatever monsters made Dan not even blink twice at the thought of fragrant, bloody messes on the side of a road. Sometimes, though, he wasn't sure.
ninjavampire: (nerd voice) its called the arachnohumanoid polymultiverse (pic#16878065)

[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-27 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
Well, he's never seen this side of Dan before. He's silent with surprise as the emotion spills out, raw and messy. There is enough mismatch between the hurt in Dan's voice and the continued measuring that acts as a small stopgap on urges to snap back. What he was saying wasn't rational, the circumstances weren't equivalent, but emotions weren't ruled by logic. Miguel is realizing he spilled salt all over a raw wound without even knowing it was there.

"I'm not going to force you."

He raises his arms, following the instructions, continuing to cooperate. It seems like Dan hadn't quite let go of all the anger like he said he did. In this way, at least, he has an idea of what might be going through his head.

"All I can ask is to consider the situation might be different, this time."

His temper would be far, far worse if his buttons were being pushed like that. He can't really fault Dan for catastrophizing. It was disappointing that his fear was winning over him, though.
ninjavampire: (pic#16573001)

[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-27 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
His expression softens. It would feel dishonest to accept the gratitude for being understanding. He'd certainly have run things more strictly if this was his own base. Dan would probably feel suffocated and miserable. But this world wasn't Nueva York. And the circumstances here, for him, were also different.

There was no imminent catastrophe threatening to slip out of his grasp, for one. If Dan were a more of a stranger, if they'd butted heads a little differently, it very well could have turned into an unstoppable force-meets-immovable object scenario. But Miguel understands rather well the urge to want to grasp at anything to feel a little bit in control, especially after being hurt so badly. So maybe that cooled his reaction enough to understand him, and accept the hiccup in his plans.

"I don't think Jack seems like the type to run with the idea of punishment."

Miguel burns with the urge to prevent disaster at any cost - to do damage control - where necessary, but his own line on things could be rather gray. Maybe it was arbitrary like that.

"We all have blind spots. I was hoping a team effort would help cover them for each other. Call me an optimist."
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[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-27 07:49 am (UTC)(link)
"Ordinarily I'd agree, but we are talking about the literal manifestation of Fun, here." he responds with a light deadpan.

He doesn't want to invalidate Dan's feelings, because he knew well enough how bad authority could get in a world where things were run by algorithm and private corporation. There wasn't even a human at the top to hold accountable, much of the time. Regardless, that kind of abuse leaves scars, as all abuse does. It was just a gentle reminder that things were different from back home.

Dan gets an affirmative nod at his other question, and Miguel lifts his arm a bit off his ribs to give him easy access. He has to get a lot more agitated to lose the measured way he moves, having lived long enough with both his sharp ends and a lot of strength behind them.

"I suppose in your scenario, you get someone you trust to read through all the legalese for you. Then see if you like it."

He doesn't want to say the word 'lawyer', because he has an inkling Dan might not like those. But... trusted, qualified friend? Maybe?

"Same if it were a language someone didn't understand. You find a translator."

Maybe he was taking the metaphor too literally.
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[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-27 09:17 am (UTC)(link)
Ah. Dan literally hates doing homework. Miguel should have realized he was invoking something cursed when he said that.

"A person who studies the nuances of how to read contracts for several years knows full well how to read one." he says it very, very flatly.

He wasn't incapable of being gentle, but now this was starting to veer into the kind of Sillyness he didn't have much patience for. Not that it was super relevant for saving the world against Kuk or whatever. But he's not enabling it.

He will, however, be making an attempt to change the topic. Dan looked fairly involved in the task at hand, and he would much rather hear his Tailoring opinions.

"What do you plan on making, anyway? Nueva York's style is pretty different from this decade."

Please take the lead, Dan. Please.
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[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-27 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
"Reading dense papers was half my job at Alchemax, you know." he grumbles it quietly and offhand, figuring nothing will come of it. If Dan thought he was going to be beaten into submission just to ask for intel about his missions, he probably wasn't anywhere near that level of trust. And it was all technical or business jargon anyway. Not the same type of expertise he would page Legal for.

He rolls with the change in topic, letting the other go. Once Miguel is freed of his measuring circle, he goes to peruse the rest of Dan's workbench. He looks impressed as he goes over the drawings, not expecting the skill and attention to detail. Frankly, it was just starting to hit him that Dan was actually going to make all this from scratch and not simply modify something that was around.

"The style back home can look a bit... eclectic." he says it with a sort of love-hate fondness. "A lot of pattern and color, depending on the budget. Asymmetrical cuts. Big shapes. Very showy, not much room for moving around."

The classics were classics for a reason, though. Even if it felt like the kind of throwback that wearing a breeches and a waistcoat might feel like for Dan. But the right circumstances could make that work, even.

"I think what you have here is far more practical." he decides. Uptown's maximalism did feel like a bit much for him, even after he'd properly 'made it'. "You've got a way with likeness, by the way."
Edited 2023-12-27 17:14 (UTC)
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[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-27 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
"Well, pattern would look good, if finding something geometric isn't a hassle." It is more politely asked, coaxed out, mostly because he's fallen far out of the habit of specifying his personal needs like that.

Up close, one could notice that his suit is covered from head to toe in pattern - the light little pulses of circuitry were all asymmetrical and intentionally planned. It was easier to see in the glowing red, but it was there in a nearly invisible manner in the dark shades as well. Little details like that did matter enough for him to map out, which reflected the style of his home city in a way.

So he takes the pen and looks over the drawing, and shows the few choice areas to add pattern - the shoulders and sides of the coat sleeves, and the sides of the pants.

"... Mostly here, and here, as a stripe along the side..." he looks back to Dan to gauge his reaction. Sewing really isn't his realm of expertise, so if Dan looks daunted, he is willing to back down.

"Is this too much?"
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[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-28 07:04 am (UTC)(link)
He understands why. It's partly why he had ramped up his own efforts rather than ease up during the holidays. Can't think about the empty chair if you're at a desk the whole time.

"Let me know when you need them. I'll make time." he says.

And that might have been the end of their conversation here, had the other, more difficult topic not been interwoven in between.

"I.. uh.." he starts awkwardly, running fingers through his hair, gaze avoidant. "I'm sorry for coming on a bit strong. I know I can be pushy with these things. It's because I worry about the worst case scenario. About what can go wrong."

And then Miguel just keeps packing on more and more pressure on himself because he thinks he can withstand it, therefore he is obligated to. He doesn't think his point of view is incorrect on the logic end, but he does feel bad that he hurt someone he liked.

Some part of him still hopes they can mend the gap, and maybe when the wound heals over he can see if Dan feels safe enough to try something a little out of bounds for him.

"I hope you know that you can just talk to me." he looks at Dan. "The gifts are nice, but not necessary for that."
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[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-28 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
It may not be him, but it doesn't seem like it's principles either, after this conversation. It feels a lot closer to a deeply-ironed, gut-instinct fear of the past repeating itself. He'd noticed the tremble in Dan, earlier, and he wasn't sure what to do about that. Dan seems to be putting an arbitrary line between cooperation, and cooperation with a bare skeleton of structure. The line was life-or-death for him, when for Miguel, the only difference was that the latter was more efficient.

He supposes he should be glad that they were able to find this impasse to sit at for the time being. Dan was right in the sense that they weren't kneecapped if he decided to not to participate for now, but he'd have to work harder to get Bunny on board. At least enough to share what he knew about the world, here. They can leave Dan out of it.

"At one point I'm going to return the favor, so you should tell me what kind of things you like." he decides to keep the tone light.
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[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-29 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
Much like the fangs, Miguel prefers to conceal what he could gleam with his eyes and ears. He is certain that mentioning Dan's heartbeat or the temperature change of his slowing blood would just seem like another threat. Yes, he was aware that Dan wasn't so nervous anymore. He is just glad that Dan hadn't been so frightened by this that he didn't want to share anything at all.

"My younger brother was the artist." he says. "Though he was more into landscapes than portraits. He was the one who could play music."

Dan's willingness to be vulnerable with him keeps that little side passage open, that willingness to drip in a detail or two of a past life he never talks about. Miguel doesn't want to stay too long in this sadder place, though.

"I haven't had... too much experience with horses." he admits, awkward in this unknown territory. "They have a decent amount of fur, right? I assume they would enjoy something like grooming. I can do some research."

He is not getting any drugs or alcohol. He can put aside his discomfort of horses for a friend. Concrete Blonde couldn't be worse than Web-Slinger's spider horse.
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[personal profile] ninjavampire 2023-12-29 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, Miguel so isn't ready for sitting on the horse. Not when his legs can propel him around just as well. But Dan looks so enthusiastic to share this side of him, his caution to the idea withers a little. He also isn't oblivious to the contradiction of Dan hating the idea of a group project, yet being immediately willing to put forward all these details about himself.

Maybe there was an unconventional way to do this? A way to leave everyone happy? He's not so sure. Miguel was navigating this as it came along. But they were conversing with each other and neither one was closing off. It was a good start.

"Why don't we start with the grooming, and then play it by ear?" To bring a music metaphor in. He looks... slightly uncomfortable, like someone agreeing to go ice-skating for the first time in their life. He's a city boy, Dan! And a cyberpunk city, to boot. He's not used to the Large Animals.

If he and Concrete Blonde can stand in the same room for more than fifteen minutes, he'll consider it an achievement on his part.

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