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Who: Aziraphale and OPEN
What: Just vibing around the North Pole tbh. May also serve as a general catchall for other bits and bobs through the month.
Where: Several places! Library, dining hall, Vaguely Around, etc.
When: The post-arrival pre-next plot zone. The settling-in zone, even.
Warnings/Notes: None yet, will update as needed/requested!

library.

[ Realistically, this is probably the number one place most guaranteed to get results in the Aziraphale sightings economy. The library is equal parts enrichment in his enclosure and a decent simulation of his native environment. Well, as long as he ignores the DVDs and CDs and such. Which he does.

If someone wanted to make a very posh zoo enclosure for a wild Aziraphale it would basically be this premise. He's in the library on the daily. Around the same time each day, probably, and winding up in the same specific chair, because he feels better when he can have one or two reliable little rituals on his schedule.

What he's got picked out tends to vary. Largely classic literature or stageplays, which he mostly thumbs through purely for the sake of seeing if they're very different in this reality. The ~big ones~. Austen, Wilde, Dickens, Shakespeare, Shelley, Tolkien, C.S. Lewis. Arthurian folklore but only when he's positive Crowley isn't in the library with him. For normal reasons. Some comically ancient guide of some sort about embroidery, because he's got it on the brain now.

(The very, very first thing that he makes sure to sit down with is a 'Winnie-the-Pooh' collected works, of course. It's actually so important that he knows they're the same as the ones he has memorized.)

While in the library, Aziraphale is largely open to socializing. If he's not open to socializing he'll simply not be in the library at all. He'll say friendly hellos every time he first walks in! He's happy to get introduced and talk literature and ask people about what they're reading if they seem amenable!

Although he does have a habit of hitting long stretches where he just sort of zones in on a book and stops paying attention to literally everything and everyone around him. Give him like an hour. He'll blink again, honest. ]

communal relaxation area.

[ Also a decent bet on places to find Aziraphale! It's cozy. He loves cozy. Coziness is in his top three favorite concepts humans came up with. Heaven is too minimalist to take the credit and Hell is too claustrophobic.

He might be reading by a very pretty window, as prophecy foretold. He might just be having some pastries and people-watching, like a cool normal person. An angel practicing his fancy shuffling and other card-based magic tricks? In your North Pole? It's more likely than you think. Important to note: the shuffling and sleight of hand are performed very poorly. Aziraphale is still thriving.

He's even more willing to socialize out here. It's what the whole setup is built for, truly. Come get your free "oh hello!"s and "how are you getting on?"s. Or if you like, in full 'old silly being an old silly' intonation: ]

Lovely weather we're having.

[ It's a low bar, being the funniest angel Heaven's ever turned out. But by god he's doing it. ]

wildcard.

[ for whatever other options! Aziraphale straight up doesn't do sleep, so he can theoretically be found at any hour in these locations, or like... out for a stroll or getting a snack or paging through a book. Doing everything in his power to not learn how to use the network or a modern phone or anything of the sort. If he recognizes anyone from the Wilderlands or the intro event, he's also likely to want to say hi and see how they're doing.

Possibly just having some cocoa and regarding the Globe of Belief with a very real sort of fondness. (A guardian is a guardian and Earth is Earth, even if this isn't the Earth he was made for and he's not the sort of guardian made specifically for it, technically. Always been a problem of his, he supposes. Getting attached.)

hmu with whatever or gimme a poke at

comatoseroses and we can work something out! i'll do closed starters idc. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Aziraphale looks mildly offended, but only because how dare Crowley not be scrutable over there. He said what he said. ]

I think it's more accurate to say it makes you wonder. [ The thought, in the fashion of many thoughts, did not cross Aziraphale's mind personally. ] I've always felt fairly confident that her novels were solely about the romances and the social commentary.

No wonder you like them, then.

[Calling him out for liking both romances and social commentary, since Aziraphale is apparently calling him out for having a single braincell.]

What one should I start with, since you're the expert. I'll have a look for secret clues.

[Turns out the trick to getting Crowley to read is to make it a fun spy challenge.]

[ Mature entities don't stick their tongues out at their friends. They don't. So he doesn't. Except for in his mind.

Well... no looking a gift Crowley wanting to read Jane Austen in the mouth. It's precious. Him and his spy stuff. Aziraphale hates him. ]

I prefer 'Pride and Prejudice,' but if you'd rather go in publishing order to not miss Clues [ capital letter very important ], best start on 'Sense and Sensibility.'

[Crowley makes a face at him for the capital letter, because he can hear it and he won't stand for it.]

Well I've certainly got neither sense nor sensibility, so I probably ought to start there.

[Sometimes he can call himself out, too.]

[ :) ]

Far be it for me to discourage personal growth. Or working out a secret criminal cipher. Whichever comes first.

[ An imaginary not real criminal cipher. Aziraphale rereads Sense and Sensibility with some regularity and it hasn't given him any sense yet. Not enough space after absorbing all that pride and prejudice, clearly.

Maybe Crowley will be the chosen one, though. As long as he has fun. ]

Hopefully the cipher. Can you imagine me with sense?

[It'd be a disaster, nothing would ever get done because 99% of the shit he does is stupid.

Still, he grabs Sense & Sensibility off the shelf and tosses it onto a chair for later. This is purely designed to upset Aziraphale.]

You'd better not tell me the Brontë sisters wrote novels, too? Those three were brilliant tacticians.

[Okay now he's just fucking with Aziraphale, who knows that Crowley has read Wuthering Heights at least once, on account of having to listen to him complain about it.]

You don't want an answer to that.

[ What Crowley wants is to get glared at for tossing that book, clearly, so Aziraphale indulges him. They're not his books, but they're still nice books, stop that shit. ]

Insufferable. [ He says, sincerely enjoying Crowley being here on a library adventure with him anyway. ] You not knowing a famous novelist was a famous novelist is hardly grounds to tease me for not knowing a famous novelist was a master spy.

[ If he'd known then clearly she wouldn't have been a very good spy or mastermind at all. ]

[Always fun to get glared at. Sometimes being a demon just means pushing an angel's buttons for funsies.]

Thank you.

[Sounding truly touched by being called insufferable, because that's obviously the nicest thing anyone has ever said about him.

It helps that Aziraphale always sounds fond about it.]

Who said I was teasing you? [He was just being a bastard. If anything, he was making fun of himself.] You know, now that I think about it, she did mention something about a bad deal with a publisher, but I never thought much of it.

[RIP Jane, getting paid pennies for Pride and Prejudice.]

[ Aziraphale's brain said he was teasing him and Aziraphale's brain is always right. Source: also Aziraphale's brain.

Ugh. It's not fair for Crowley to be as cute as he is a menace, honestly. What, Aziraphale's supposed to just keep remembering how in love he is? All the time? ]

I suppose you had smuggling on the brain at that point. [ Fair enough. Staying sharp to avoid ~the coppers~. ] She did have some ups and downs on the publishing front, though, yes.

[ Publishers are always such a mixed morality bag... he hopes the crime was at least highly lucrative. ]

[Perish.]

I've always got smuggling on the brain.

[This is a lie, why would he think about smuggling? It only comes up occasionally when actually relevant, which was mostly back when he was working for Hell.]

Suppose she didn't really need the money from the books, in the end. She made plenty after that diamond robbery.

[ Aziraphale feels like in the grand scheme, smuggling has only been on Crowley's brain marginally more than on his own.

He goes ahead and closes the book he was reading, to be a fussy bitch. ]

Should have penned a novel about that. I'm very interested.

[ Bestie. Beloved. Most annoying person in the universe. Give him the details. ]

[Crowley knows a request for a story when he hears one.]

You remember Clerkenwell, yeah? A bit outside the wall, where all the gambling dens and brothels used t'be?

[Now they're just everywhere, but he figures it's best to start with like, the 1600s and work their way up, because this is Aziraphale he's talking to.]

Around the end of the 18th century a lot of merchants and craftsmen moved into the area, including a lot of jewellers, so — [Setting the scene, mostly.] Jane and her crew must've hit six or seven of them in one night, that was the impressive part. They'd split the group in half, started in the middle of town and worked their way out, hitting each jeweller as they went. In and out within thirty minutes at each spot, cutting through bolts and cracking safes as quick as anything. Carriages waiting at each final spot took 'em back to Chawton House.

[Where better to lay low? No one would suspect a thing.]

[ Crowley edition storytime is something that can be so personal. Because Aziraphale is gay and also loves stories. He stays winning.

So of course does all his good listening. Elbow on the armrest, chin in hand, taking in the deets. Clerkenwell, yes, gives that a little mm-hmm, outside the wall, checks out. ]

Chawton House? [ But he's been there before! While not suspecting a thing! ] Noooo. Really?

[Dropping the mention of Chawton House got the exact reaction that he was hoping for, which is Aziraphale being upset about it but in a way that isn't really upset.]

Mmhmm, no one would think to look at the Austen residence for thousands of pounds of stolen diamonds, would they?

[Aziraphale certainly didn't!]

Obviously not! [ Ohhh this would have been so fun to gossip with Jane Austen about. Not that he blames her for keeping it hush-hush, obviously. It's not masterful criminal engineering if the entire literary community is talking about it.

And he can't really blame Crowley for never mentioning it considering Crowley didn't know she was part of the literary community to start with. Ships in the night. Damn. ]

Well. Now we're just going to have to make time to visit for a tour, aren't we. [ Immediately ropes Crowley in on a date as a statement, not a question. It'll be fun. They'll have a secret inside joke now. ] I've been meaning to get a look at that new library of theirs anyway.

[ New....... to him. Most of what he knows about it is in relation to extremely rare and precious manuscripts and first editions. ]

Are we, now?

[In that familiar tone that says he's going to put up a token complaint about it and grumble the whole time they're there, but will secretly enjoy having been invited on an outing with Aziraphale.

Your honor...... they're fucking idiots.]

I'll be pointing out all the hiding spots, I expect.

[Aziraphale will think it's all very fun and Crowley will also think it's fun but he won't admit that out loud, he'll just make besotted expressions about it.]

[ Aziraphale hears that ~are we, now?~ for what it truly means-- that he's 100% getting his dumbass date complete with Crowley pretending it makes him sooooo grumpy to have to be there-- and beams accordingly.

Winning. Thriving. Wiggling a little. ]

I'll point out where I think they'd be, and you can correct me. [ See, it'll be Extra fun. ]

[Every day he wakes up and for what? To suffer through Aziraphale wiggling in delight?

He's going to start chewing on the furniture, he's so in love and it's unbearable.]

You only want to prove you could outsmart Jane Austen.

[Which is valid.]

[ Crowley suffers in such dire and incomprehensible ways. ]

No, I want to prove I could keep up with Jane Austen, since she could apparently heist circles around me. Very important distinction. I'll buy you a drink after! It'll be fun.

[ He'll be the most embarrassing old queen to be next to in a ten-mile radius about it, partly on purpose.

What if we thought very hard about kissing in Chawton House mid-argument about where it's smartest to hide stolen diamonds, and we were both celestial creatures older than time 👉👈 ]

You and everyone else, honestly.

[In case Aziraphale might actually feel bad about not knowing the heist thing, Crowley will continue to gently reassure him that he's very smart.]

And I'll be bringing a bottle of wine to drink on the tour, no need to buy me a drink afterward.

[He won't actually try to bring a bottle of wine, he just wants to make Aziraphale fuss.]

[ This demon is not escaping the sweetheart allegations by bringing gentle affirmations to the party. Honestly, how dare he. ]

Crowley. [ For shame. Tsk tsk. ] You're not bringing anything of the sort.

[ are u having him on again. is this a have-on. ]

[He's absolutely having him on, which might be evident by the fact he's grinning.]

Alright, alright, I'll just bring a vape.

[Does Aziraphale know what a vape is? Time to find out!!!!]

[ Aziraphale gives him the suspicious squint of a person who has no idea what a vape is and is trying to make a very fast judgement call based on Crowley's face and tone alone.

Vape???? VAPE???????? He assumes he's offended by that. ]

...

That would be even worse.

[ Tone: making a very educated guess about a crossword puzzle answer. ]

You've no idea what a vape is, do you?

[Oh, it's always fun when he gets to introduce Aziraphale to something that he's going to hate. It's like bringing home a fucked up toy to upset your dog with.

Crowley snaps his fingers and summons the most high tech, obnoxious looking vape that he's seen in the past couple of years. He grins, takes a long drag and blows out an obnoxious amount of smoke in Aziraphale's direction.

It smells like bubblegum.]

[ Good lord. His instinct was right. This is so much worse than he could have imagined. He fucking HATES that.

The gasp he gusps. Etc. ]

Anthony J. Crowley, you stop smoking at me immediately--

[ FULL NAME AND EVERYTHING, gay little handwaves to make offended eye contact through this gross bubblegum smoke post-haste. We are yelling a little in the library, as a treat. Aziraphale is doing the whole production.

Objectively, it's going to be very helpful to know what those are for when he has to put up a very large sign on the shop door banning them. ]

Dreadful. No, you can very well leave your vapors in the circus tent from whence they came, you old saddle goose!

[ siri where are the divorce lawyers in the north pole this is urgent ]